Homer: The need of money is where i have a huge problem with organized religion.

KingHade: ^How else do you build all the fancy temples you guys like to have?

Homer: i think the church builds much fancier places.. every hear of that place called Rome ?

KingHade: Homer, thats not my church, but, there are lots of Temples in Brooklyn with swimming pools in the basement... SWIMMING POOLS! I don't know a single Luthern Church with a swimming pool in the basement...

ITM: You must swim your sins away,my son

Violator: Lots of money...

Riverrat: It's the preachers that want the money. God doesn't get any of it.

Nakkh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8r-e2NDSTuE&list=RD8r-e2NDSTuE#t=6

UncleJesse: God sends people to Detroit?

Deleted User: A Catholic Priest,a Rabbi and a Baptist Minister were talking about how they decide to divide the money.. The Priest said "we put all the money for the week in a large plate and toss it up in the air. Everything that lands back in the plate we use for church work, all money that lands outside we party with." The Rabbi said: "we kinda use the same method, but all money landing back in the plate we party with. Outside money we use for education, etc." The Baptist said: "we kinda do the same...but we put the money in a large bowl and take it outside and toss it waaay up in the air. What comes back down we party with, if God wants any for his use, he'll keep it while up there"

Fleedle: I had a Jewish friend who said he would one day invite me to the jew's christmas party where they all go to a basement and swim around in all the cash.

Maynard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oH0ReL3Cew

snippy: Maynard is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. He proceeds into the water, subsequently bumping into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon, he asks Maynard, "Are you ready to find Jesus?" Maynard shouts, "Yes, I am." So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him back and asks, "Brother, have you found Jesus?" Maynard replies, "No, I haven't found Jesus!" The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him again but for a little longer. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, "Have you found Jesus, brother?" Maynard answers, "No, I haven't found Jesus!" By this time, the preacher is at his wits end and dunks drunk Maynard again -- but this time holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs about, he pulls him up. The preacher again asks Maynard, "For the love of God, have you found Jesus?" Maynard staggers upright, wipes his eyes, coughs up a bit of water, catches his breath, and says to the preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in????"